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What is trauma?
Let’s begin by understanding trauma itself. Trauma is not “the thing that happened to you”, like physical abuse or neglect. Trauma is what happens inside of you, because of a traumatic event. In short, traumas are the wounds left behind that begin to shape our perceptions, behaviours, and health.
Trauma is also subjective, meaning that what might be traumatic for me may not be traumatic for you, depending on our personalities, prior experiences, temperaments, and so on. There are of course obvious (more universal) traumatic experiences like abuse and neglect, however, trauma can also take on many other forms. Traumatic experiences are essentially any situations where the systems of the body are completely overwhelmed, and we feel hopeless and helpless.
Fight or flight mode and toxic stress
What do I mean by completely overwhelmed? Well, consider the stress response. When an individual is threatened, the ‘survival’ part of the brain shifts into hyper-drive and triggers the body to go into ‘fight or flight mode’. Our bodies are flooded with stress hormones that enable our pupils to dilate, our airways to open, our heart rate to increase, and we are essentially ready to pounce or run! This is a very adaptable and necessary function to keep us alive in the face of danger. But, when traumatic events happen, the impact is so severe that our stress responses are often altered. Suddenly, we feel afraid, threatened, and unsafe much of the time (depending on the severity and persistence of the traumatic events). Our stress response gets ‘sensitised’ and can be set off even in safe situations.
Over time, with the constant flooding of stress hormones coursing through our bodies, we come to experience toxic stress as a result. And, toxic stress wreaks havoc on the body. Think of it like this: if a fish tank is a little polluted, the fish might start to feel a little unwell, but if the pollution becomes significant, the fish will likely become very sick and the impacts on their bodies may even be irreversible.
This brings me to a very important study in the world of childhood trauma: the ACEs Too High study which was conducted by the CDC and Kaiser Permanente.
Adverse childhood experiences
ACEs stands for ‘Adverse Childhood Experiences’ and is basically a more scientific term for childhood trauma. In the ACEs Too High study (Stevens, 2025) they interviewed approximately 17,500 adults to understand their childhood trauma histories and their current health status. In short, they wanted to understand: Did you experience trauma? If so, how much? And, what has your health been like? For every trauma the individual experienced, they would get a point on their ‘ACE score’. The results were jaw-dropping. When comparing someone with an ACE score of 0 (no trauma history) and those with an ACE score of 4 or more, they found the individuals with the higher ACE score were:
- 5 times more likely to have COPD (lung disease)
- 5 times more likely to get hepatitis
- 5 times more likely to be diagnosed with depression
- 3 times more likely to have heart disease
- 3 times more likely to have lung cancer
- 5 times more likely to experience suicidality
- Have a projected 20-year difference in life expectancy
These statistics are a lot to take in, and these are just some of the results. But, since the time of this study, more work has been done to paint a clearer picture of childhood trauma. We know that the effects are devastating, but it’s also been discovered that there’s something that can offset the impacts of trauma: PCEs. positive childhood experiences.
Positive childhood experiences
PCEs or positive childhood experiences, include things like:
- The ability to talk about feelings
- Adults who genuinely care
- Feelings of safety or protection by an adult
- A sense of belonging
- Enjoyment and participation in community traditions
- Supportive adults and relationships, particularly during difficult times
Research has shown that PCEs, and especially our relational health, may even be more predictive of our mental health than adversity. And this is where I see early childhood educators making a significant difference. If we can provide children with strong, supportive, nurturing relationships and positive experiences, we can be part of the solution.
So, what are some tangible ways we can do this? Dr. Bruce Perry has been on the frontlines of working with children (who have experienced trauma) for decades. According to Perry, there are 3 key approaches that can significantly buffer and protect children from ACEs: Rhythm, Regulation, and Relationship (Chosen Care, 2024).
Rhythm or ‘offering heartbeats’ as a buffer
Did you know that the heartbeat is our very first sign of safety and security? And, did you also know that any rhythmic activity has the power to mimic the heartbeat and illicit that sense of safety later in life? Things like: walking, dancing, singing (especially choral singing), drumming, tapping, running, breathing, etc. All these examples unconsciously remind us of our mother’s heartbeat in-utero. This is why when we’re feeling stressed, we often want to go for a walk or take some deep breathes. It helps to calm our nervous system and signals that we are safe—ultimately reducing the stress response. And so, I invite educators to “offer children heartbeats” throughout the day as a first strategy.
Regulation as a buffer to ACEs
According to Dr. Perry, when children are dysregulated, there is absolutely no point in trying to do things like offering learning experiences, problem-solving, or explaining cause-and-effect. Why? Well, it has to do with what we discussed earlier: the stress response. When dysregulated, remember that children’s ‘survival’ part of the brain is getting most of the energy, and so the ‘higher order’ parts of the brain are not prioritized and are metaphorically ‘offline’. Have you ever had someone try to engage you in discussion when you’re frustrated or overwhelmed? You likely either mentally shut down or physically exit the conversation because you need some space and time to regulate. Basically, you can’t have these discussions because the ‘higher-order’ parts of your brain are not available to you at this moment of dysregulation. On an instinctual level, you know you must calm down before proceeding with any intentionality. This is also the case with children. And so, when a child is in overwhelm, either in shut down (dissociated) or ‘fight or flight’ mode, we need to focus on regulation first: what can we do to calm their bodies?
When a child is eventually regulated, we can then begin to relate with them. This is really the part where we focus on connection, empathy, and support. We might ask them about their feelings, and try to help them understand their big, overwhelming emotions. Again, we wait to engage in problem solving or “teaching”, because we must “connect before we correct”. If children do not feel loved, supported, and understood, they will not be able to try to problem-solve or learn from the experience.
When a child has been emotionally nurtured, then we can proceed to reasoning. This is where we discuss exactly what happened, problem solve solutions, and come up with a plan of action. They are now equipped for this because their bodies and hearts have been supported first.
And so, here’s the sequence when approaching a situation where a child is in overwhelm: Regulate, Relate, and then Reason.
But reason is not the third approach which can buffer children from ACEs. Reasoning is the final part of the sequence when a child is in overwhelm, as opposed to commonly being seen as the first action adults take. And relationship building is in fact the third “R” – the third buffer for ACEs…
Relationships as a buffer
Secure, stable, responsive relationships create a “working model” or “blueprint” for children about themselves, others, and the world. To summarise, when children have secure relationships, they learn to trust themselves, others, and the world. When children have insecure or turbulent relationships with their caregivers, they learn to distrust themselves, others, and the world. In the end, those first relationships are key in helping a child navigate life. And, the good news is: educators have the power to help children ‘draft’ these first, foundational blueprints.
And so, here’s what I encourage educators to focus on here: “Little-Big Moments”. “Little-Big Moments” are basically everyday interactions that demonstrate to a child that they are truly seen, heard, and loved. They are “little” because they’re often actions that seem small, like a comment or a question. They are “big” because, when done with the purpose of seeing, hearing, and loving children – they can have a significant influence on the child.
Some examples include:
- Calling a child by their name when you pass them in the hallway, making everyday interactions more personalised.
- Offering a smile or a nod to the child as a means of encouragement when they are working hard to put on their new rubber boots.
- Stocking the classroom with items you know the child enjoys or are of interest to the child, such as books or specific materials.
- Pausing to help a child with a difficult problem or conflict, offering support and presence.
Greeting a child with warmth and joy upon arrival
…You get the idea!
All of these examples remind a child of one thing: that they truly matter. And, understanding that we matter is critical to our mental health, self-worth, and even the trajectory of our lives.
Conclusion
Rhythm, regulation, and relationship offer children the positive experiences that can serve to mitigate the trauma they may be experiencing outside of the classroom and ensures we do not add to or trigger their traumatic wounds. And so, you might be thinking “I already DO all of these things!” – I get it. But, being trauma-informed is about knowing WHY we do the things we do. When we know WHY we prioritize rhythm, regulation, and relationship, we’re more likely to do it often and with more intentionality – which ultimately makes us more effective, trauma-informed educators!
Key takeaways
- Childhood trauma changes our stress response system, shifting it into “hyper drive”.
- An overly active stress response system can change the trajectory of our health (and lives) over time
- Secure relationships and positive experiences in childhood hold the power to mitigate and protect children from the devastating impacts of trauma
- Rhythm, regulation, and relationship are the keys to trauma informed care in ECE
Critical considerations
- What are some ways in which you offer children ‘heartbeats’ in your setting/programme?
- Consider an example of a time you’ve moved through the regulate-relate-reason process with a child in distress?
- What are some ways you offer children ‘Little-Big Moments’ in your programme every day?
Explainer
- ACEs – Adverse childhood experiences
- PCEs – positive childhood experiences
References and further reading
Stevens, J. E. (2025). Aces too high. ACEs Too High. https://acestoohigh.com/
Leyba, V. (2024). Trauma-informed practices in early childhood education. ZERO TO THREE. https://www.zerotothree.org/resource/journal/trauma-informed-practices-in-early-childhood-education/
The three R’s: Reaching the learning brain. (n.d.). https://beaconhouse.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/The-Three-Rs.pdf
Chosen Care (2024). Dr. Bruce Perry’s concept of regulate, relate, and reason.. https://chosen.care/dr-bruce-perrys-concept-of-regulate-relate-and-reason/
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