A guide to potty training

Why new potty training guidance matters

Toileting is one of the most emotionally charged areas of early childhood development. It touches on independence, bodily autonomy, dignity, health, parental expectations, and school readiness all at once. Yet historically, toileting has often sat uncomfortably between home and early years settings, sometimes treated as a private family matter rather than a shared developmental responsibility.

Updated guidance for schools and nurseries from the UK Department for Education has aligned with the government-backed Potty Training Guide to provide unified, evidence-informed advice for families and practitioners on when and how to potty train. It highlights that supporting children’s toileting needs is part of inclusive, lawful early years practice and that potty training should be seen as a process of skill development over time. Early years practitioners have a role in supporting this alongside parents and carers.

There is a greater emphasis on inclusion and partnership and settings must meet children’s care needs, including toileting and intimate care, while protecting dignity and wellbeing. As per statutory duties under the Equality Act and Early Years Foundation Stage (EYFS), blanket “pants-only” or “must be toilet trained” policies may amount to indirect discrimination, and children must not be excluded based on continence stage. This requires co-planning between settings and families, rather than leaving toileting to either party alone.

This shift matters because increasing numbers of children are entering early education still developing continence skills. Rather than seeing this as a failure of families or children, the guidance reframes toileting as a developmental process that deserves the same thoughtful support as language, mobility or emotional regulation.

Potty learning is a developmental journey, not a single event

One of the most common misconceptions about potty training is that it is something that happens in a short window: a weekend, a week off work, or a single decisive transition out of nappies. In reality, toileting skills develop through layered practice that unfolds over time. Children typically move through three broad stages:

• Awareness: noticing body signals and understanding what wee and poo are.
• Practice: beginning to act on those signals and get to the socially-designated place.
• Independence: internalising skills and managing toileting with increasing autonomy.

These stages develop alongside physical maturation, emotional regulation, communication skills, sensory processing and executive function. Some children move through them quickly; others need more time and scaffolding. Development is not linear, so periods of progress, plateau and regression are normal and to be expected.

Crucially, seeing toileting skills as a developmental journey, means that coming out of nappies is usually the final step of this learning process, not the starting point. Putting nappies away and expecting our children to succeed without any prior practice is akin to trying to pass a driving test without any prior lessons.

Before nappies are put away for good, children should have good body awareness, healthy bladder and bowel function, and confidence navigating the bathroom environment. This then means that the transition away from nappies tends to be smoother and more emotionally secure.

Healthy bladders and bowels come first

Successful potty learning depends on physical capability as much as motivation or behaviour. Children who are constipated, dehydrated, or regularly holding wee or poo are much more likely to struggle, experience distress, or develop avoidance patterns.

Healthy bowel function ideally means a soft, pain-free poo every day. Hard, painful stools, infrequent bowel movements, or withholding behaviours can signal constipation, which affects a significant proportion of young children and often goes unrecognised. Addressing bowel health before removing nappies reduces the risk of painful associations forming around toileting. 

Similarly, healthy bladder function relies on adequate fluid intake, regular opportunities to empty the bladder, good posture (feet supported), and plenty of physical movement to support nervous system regulation. Children who sip very little, wee in tiny trickles, or avoid drinking may struggle to build reliable bladder signals.

From a practice perspective, this means that toileting support should sit alongside wider health promotion: hydration routines, outdoor play, calm mealtimes, and responsive observation of children’s physical cues.

When should children be out of nappies?

There is no single “correct” age by which every child will be capable of managing without nappies. Development varies widely, influenced by temperament, neurodevelopment, physical maturation, previous experiences, and environmental consistency. However, most developmentally typical children who are given the opportunity to develop and practice toileting skills from around 6 months of age will be capable of managing independent toileting between 18-24 months and this is shown in research to be best for bowel and bladder health.

Allowing children opportunities for learning between 6-18 months is key to them being capable of stopping using nappies before age 3, which is proven in research to be an important end goal if we are to protect bowel and bladder health.

Whilst national guidance does not mandate a specific age for continence, it stresses that toileting independence should never be a barrier to accessing early education. Children may be continent well before age three, or may still be consolidating skills into the early school years.

Children must therefore be supported to gradually build the underlying skills:

• Can they recognise body sensations?
• Do they understand where wee and poo go?
• Are they comfortable sitting on a potty or toilet?
• Can they communicate or signal when they need help?
• Are adults responding predictably and respectfully?

A child who is still using nappies but developing strong body awareness and initiative is often further along the learning pathway than a child who is out of nappies but constantly distressed, withholding or overwhelmed.

Play as the ‘engine’ of potty learning

Play is one of the most powerful tools for supporting learning, including developing toileting skills. Through stories, role play and imaginative scenarios, children can rehearse skills, explore emotions, and integrate new concepts in a low-pressure way.

Play supports:

• Body awareness: noticing sensations, timing and internal signals.
• Social understanding: learning where toileting happens and how routines work.
• Emotional safety: reducing fear, uncertainty and performance pressure.
• Agency and motivation: allowing children to lead and experiment.

Simple playful strategies can include using dolls or toys to “practice” using the potty, keeping special potty-time toys nearby, turning transitions into games, or inventing characters (such as friendly poo and wee characters) to externalise bodily processes in a child-friendly way. These approaches normalise bodily functions while keeping learning joyful and child-led. 

In settings, playful approaches also support shared thinking, where adults and children explore ideas together through dialogue, modelling and reflection to strengthen both cognitive and emotional learning.

What inclusive toileting practice looks like in settings

The reformed guidance outlines clear expectations for inclusive practice. High-quality toileting support typically includes:

• Welcoming children regardless of continence stage.
• Individual care plans developed in partnership with parents.
• Safe, hygienic and private changing facilities.
• Staff training and confidence in intimate care.
• Respectful language and protection of dignity.
• Clear record-keeping and safeguarding procedures.
• Policies aligned with Equality Act and EYFS duties. 

Equally important is what settings should avoid: refusing places based on toileting, asking parents to return to change children during the day, leaving children wet or soiled, or applying rigid one-size-fits-all policies.

When toileting is treated as part of everyday care, children experience greater emotional safety, families build trust with providers, and staff confidence increases.

Free resource for settings:
You can download a practical Early Years Practitioners Guide to Supporting Potty Learning, including policy prompts, legal considerations, and a developmental skills framework to support inclusive practice.

Download the guide here: https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/l8a2y3

Practical strategies for starting potty learning

At home:

• Build awareness early: change nappies as soon as they are wet or soiled. Once the child can stand, do nappy changes standing up and involve the child in the process. Always flush poo down the toilet.
• Support physical health: prioritise fluids, fibre, movement and relaxed toileting opportunities. Keep a check on bowel and bladder function to identify any problems early
• Use play intentionally: role play, books, characters and games can build familiarity and allow children to practice without pressure.
• Follow the child’s signals: notice natural timing patterns and body cues and offer the potty at times that aligns with the body’s natural reflexes. These include after meals, after waking up and before going to sleep. 
• Keep expectations flexible: learning is rarely linear; pauses and regressions are normal as skills consolidate.

In early years settings:

• Create accessible environments: steps, child-sized toilets, consider ways to allow privacy and apply predictable routines.
• Observe rather than prompt excessively: noticing children’s cues and giving information rather than asking questions helps build body awareness and reduces power struggles. For example: “you are fidgeting,  this is your body’s way of saying its potty time”.
• Communicate with families: share patterns, progress and strategies regularly but avoid discussing any accidents in front of the child or other children.
• Plan for accidents: treat them calmly as learning opportunities rather than setbacks. Allow children to help change their clothing in the private space and use neutral phrases such as ‘your pants are wet/soiled’ and ‘let’s keep these pants dry/clean’.
• Support gradual independence: clothing choices, handwashing routines and visual cues scaffold success. 

Advice often emphasises consistency between home and early years settings, but the demands of each environment are different. Expecting children to show the same progress in both at the same time is often unrealistic. Most children master skills at home first, with confidence in nursery coming later — and this is not a concern as long as they have regular opportunities to practise in both settings.

Reframing success in potty learning

Success is not defined by how quickly nappies disappear. It is defined by whether children feel:

• Safe in their bodies
• Confident communicating their needs
• Respected in their privacy and dignity
• Supported rather than pressured
• Capable of going at their own pace according to their individual needs

I encourage practitioners and families to shift away from compliance-based expectations toward developmental readiness, relational safety and long-term wellbeing.

When we get the foundations right, independence tends to follow naturally.

Further support for settings
If you’d like a practical companion resource for your team, you can download the free Early Years Practitioners Guide to Supporting Potty Learning, designed to support inclusive, lawful and developmentally informed practice.

Download the guide here: https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/l8a2y3