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A chance conversation
I became aware of the impact of prisons on small children through a chance conversation with one of my managers. She noticed the grandparent was bringing the child to nursery much more often and they were no longer seeing mum. Nobody said anything until the manager gently broached the mum’s absence with the grandparent. It turned out the mum was in prison and the grandparent was very embarrassed and ashamed of the situation but really struggling emotionally and financially. The manager was highly sensitive to the grandparent’s position and her team figured out ways to support the grandmother without her feeling judged. Like it or not, we live in very judgy times, not helped by social media and reality TV. These days we lack compassion!
What are the statistics?
The conversation got me thinking hard about this and I did some research into the prison statistics, and they are pretty scary. There are 86,000 people in prison. 81,000 of them are men. 310,000 children have a parent in prison and one of them could be a child from your setting. The most disturbing statistic for me was hearing that 6 out of 10 boys are more likely to follow their fathers into prison than go to university. It put me in mind of a story I heard from one of the nurseries where they heard one of the children tell a staff member that her dad was in prison an she was going to go there too because she was very good at creeping about. Honestly, I didn’t know whether to dump Burglar Bill or get copies for everyone.
A day in prison
As part of preparation to write the pack, I spent a day at a prison, organised by PACT, https://www.prisonadvice.org.uk/, a charity which works with families and children of prisoners. I was joined by colleagues from LEYF and we went through the entire visiting process. It was not nice! Yet, 10,000 children visit a prison every week. This includes spending a long time in a queue, hearing shouting, the reverberating slam of iron doors and then being searched and sniffed by a dog. Sadly, partners and friends of prisoners often try and smuggle drugs into prison using a baby as a foil. Given the drugs issue in prison, wardens take no chances! Innocent children are caught up in the war on drugs.
Creating the prison pack
I invited colleagues across LEYF for help to create this pack. I was amazed at the number of people whose lives have been touched by imprisonment and for many it has left a deep scar. As a sector alert to trauma informed practice, helping children with a parent or family member in prison is not an alien concept. We therefore approached writing the pack as a form of action research. It is my favourite learning loop. It begins by identifying a problem, investigating it through observation and interviews, agreeing actions and then testing them.
The outcome of our action research was that we needed a pack that would be practical and easy to access and would focus on 3 perspectives; the child, the staff member and the family. We were really grateful to Famly https://www.famly.co/ which sponsored the design and publication of the pack which has allowed us to offer it free to download from our website.
Please share it, comment on social media and get it widely distributed to help staff address what is often a very hidden issue and where children are the innocent victims.
Key takeaways
- Children are unfortunately part of the traumatic experiences around imprisonment
- We need to be aware of the various trauma and negative experiences children in our care might be going through
- We need to be equipped with knowledge, training or at the very least resources and sources of support for families who may be impacted by family members who have been imprisoned.
- A sensitive conversation can identify the need for support – communication and building strong relationships is vital here
Critical considerations
- Do you know the children and families in your care well enough to identify when there might have been a change? Does each child and family have a key person that truly gets to know them?
- Are you and your team equipped to support families with a case of a family member being imprisoned? Would you know where to start or where to point them for support?
- What training or resources are needed to be considered in your setting to equip your team in supporting families in this area of trauma informed practice?
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